Sometimes

During night convoys, I listen to Interpol's first untitled track off of Turn On the Bright Lights and pretend I'm an astronaut. I move all slow and shit because I'm wearing kevlar on my head and a 60 pound flak but I imagine it's because of the zero gravity up in space. Air and Spiritualized are also good to listen to in orbit, the moon, and beyond...

Music to kill to...

Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare has sucked the lives of my entire unit. Since we play the game on a PS3 or Xbox 360 we've taken advantage of the mp3 playback features these consoles have. So here's the soundtrack to the life that I lack capping hadjji and Soviet radicals...

"MIA" - Black Lips
"Born to Kill" - The Damned
"Bomb the Russians" (live) - Fear
"Kill the Enemy" and "Desert Grave" - Street Trash
Kill 'Em All (yeah, the entire album) and "Fight Fire with Fire" - Metallica
"Killing An Arab" - The Cure
"Know Your Enemy" and "Killing in the Name Of" - Rage Against the Machine
"Kill a Commie" - Gang Green
"Paid Vacation" - Circle Jerks
"My War" (1982 demos) and "Revenge" - Black Flag
"Search and Destroy" - Iggy Pop and the Stooges
"Communist Eyes" and "Lexicon Devil" - The Germs
"World War III" - DOA
"Destroy" - the Regulations
"We Will Bury You" - the Bags
"Holidays in the Sun" - the Sex Pistols
"Tommy Gun" - The Clash
"Born to Die" - MDC
"Reuters" - WIRE
"Street Fighting Man" - The Rolling Stones
"Mouth of War" and "Cowboys From Hell" (live from Moscow) - Pantera
"Contaminational Power" and "General Bacardi"- Crass
"Insurgency" - The Middle Class
"War?" - System of a Down
"When Ya' Get Drafted" and "I Kill Children" - Dead Kennedys
"Invasion" and "Smash the IRA" - Skrewdriver
"We Got the Neutron Bomb" - the Weirdos
"Why Can't We Be Friends?" - War

School shootings are totally gay

I mean seriously pyschos, does school suck that much? Spree killings are so played out. It's like the trendiest thing in the world.

If you shoot up a school, you might as well get some tribal tattoo while you are at it. Whatever happened to taking revenge upon the world getting a stack of "NO FAT CHICKS" bumper stickers and sticking 'em on random cars? That's what I did. It's a little bit more creative than trying to kill everybody.

Oh and hey Cho, fuck you. You set Asian people back more than William Hung. I seriously didn't think that shit was possible in this universe until you shot fifty fucking people in Virginia Tech and sent the picture of yourself with the hammer to MSNBC. Instead of being saddened by you know, the lives lost in that tragedy, I was too busy laughing at your fucking retarded face. You make William look like Michelle Kwan. Thanks alot, you helped everyone else in America realize we are as deadly with a 9 mil as we are behind a steering wheel.

Chicks with British accents...

Give me super hard ons. It's no surprise because I've been beating off to Mary Poppins since I was six.

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

We Did Not Know the Forest Spirit Made the Flowers Grow

Dude, finding out the Black Lips' best album was named after a line from Princess Mononoke was awesomely cute. Actually, I kinda shit my pants when I realized hearing that line in the movie.

Fuck, I miss all my anime movies. I would appreciate it if any of you cretins send in episodes of Cowboy Bebop and Gunslinger Girl in avi format. You will win bonus points in Hell.

Dear San Francisco and Berkeley

Fuck you.

You guys make the people of Los Angeles look like the offspring of Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter. I hope you all choke on your vegan cookies, exhaust from your hybrid cars, and anti-war picket signs. I fucking hate you hippie shmucks.

Semper Fidelis,
Me

P.S. Hey Sean, you can hook me up for a place to stay for a few nights in Frisco when I get back right? Drinks on me if you do.

Things I miss about California...

sushi
Amoeba Music
the girls
the beach
pavement
aspiring actors
aspiring musicians
aspiring writers
fake titties
celebrities that can't get enough of themselves
liberal cocksuckers that call me "fascist baby killer"
people who think it's rebellious calling Bush a Nazi
bums at the Smell
my friends and family who fit the above criteria

Montel Williams Must Die

During a live broadcast on Fox with Friends, Montel Williams openly critcized Fox News and other news channels for obsessing over celebrities while down playing deaths in the occupation of Iraq.

After being kicked off the show, Williams, a former Marine and Naval Officer, had his show cancelled by the media corporation after 17 years as a TV show host.

Here's the link to his appearance:



So let me get this straight, Fox News for all its right wing notoriety turns its back on someone who simply said maybe we should be a little bit more considerate for the men and women in foreign lands whose job it is to make sure freedom of speech (something he just practiced) gets protected? Of course, I guess the American people would rather listen to four people who didn't even know Heath Ledger talk for half an hour about his death instead of actual important matters and events happening around the world.

I might have to bitch smack the next conservative asshole who tells me Fox News is truly fair and balanced and the only news organization who actually support the troops. Fuck that, they support their wallets.

I personally call a boycott against Fox News and the rest of the "infotainment" industry that's rotting our brains.

Jesus Christ, what am I saying? Fox News is fair and balanced. I take it all back. You see, I totally want to know more about Heath Ledger because he was pretty fuckin' hot making out with my soulmate Jakey in Brokeback Mountain. I mean seriously, it's the greatest movie ever made. If you are to tell me this country of ours won't allow news channels to dedicate half their time for over paid celebrities.... Well, then the terrorists truly won.

Besides, who cares if a shmuck like me dies or gets my legs blown up out here in Iraq? Hell, if the latter happens, I will save ALOT on shoes. You know how much chucks go for nowadays? It's fucking outrageous. Who cares if I come back home? What the fuck was Heath doing with Mary Kate? That's what I am really wondering out here.....

Shame on you Mr. Williams. FOR SHAME.

The Killers

I am gonna pretend those guys named themselves after the Iron Maiden album because they are that cool.