Post Deployment Do’s and Don’ts

DON'T - Ask me if I killed anybody. If I actually did kill somebody you would have already known by now. I would have posted pictures of my confirmed kill right on myspace and then I would wear a t-shirt that says "#1 CONFIRMED KILLA" for days upon end. Yes, I am that vainly evil if not a GOD amongst you if that was the case.

DO - Buy me a beer. Free beer is good for the war weary veteran.

A response from the "Dear China" post

"dear Teail Kim,
As I was reading your post i couldn’t help but to feel deeply offended by your comments. How there you talk about the blacks like that..... oh, wait.... your talking about the chinese, arent you?...fuck those mothafuckas, man. i hope all their pandas eat up all the bamboo in china so that they become unable to produce chop sticks and there for die of starvation because they havent realized that man has invented forks and then i hope all their panda bears die so that they wont have nothing cute to look at..."

Right on my brother. Right the fuck on. I think the Chinese should definitely stick those choppers up their ass since people who don’t use forks are weird and quite possibly homosexual. Hello, it’s 2008 motherfuckers. We don’t even need spoons anymore. God invented the spork. Although I find pandas adorable as well, I find it it completely justified if not behooving to kill such creatures for the freedom of Tibet and also for the fact it’s the American way.

Dear China

Fuck you. Yeah that’s right, I’m taking the Lama’s side. You people suck. I hope your Olympics this year sucks ballsacks and I hope you guys don’t win any medals for anything. You people sell weapons to Iran, support the regime in North Korea, and have constantly thwarted our foreign policy efforts for your own ends including sending some spies over here. You are also simply super mean to Tibet. I won’t even go into detail about your radioactive toys....

If you are offended by my post please feel free to say so. However, I’m letting you know, if you don’t wanna root for the home team (that means the US of A aka AMERICA aka THE LAND OF THE FREE aka HOME OF THE BRAVE aka LIBERTY aka FUCKING GREATEST COUNTRY EVER) I suggest you get the fuck out the stadium.

Semper Fidelis,
Me

P.S. We even make better Chinese food than y’all. Sans the dog meat.

men are from Mars, women have no penis

Women are insane, unpredictable, and better to look at who pretend to be dumber than they really are. Any man that says he understands a woman is a fucking liar or a hermaphrodite. Simply because you would need a vagina to even equivocate such a notion.

Men are disgusting, arrogant, simple minded pigs who pretend to be smarter than they really are*. I seriously do not know why women want to fuck us (but thank GOD). That's also why I don't get fags either.

*I don't even know what the fuck the word "equivocate" means. I read it somewhere and I'm just betting I'm using the word under the general context but I'm not sure about that either.
Otherwise, yeah I totally did sound like I knew what I was talking about there didn't I?