What has 9 arms and sucks ass?

But I have to admit this is a great song.

Asian Eyelid Surgery

You would think of all the things Asians would envy about other races (e.g. bigger dicks, bigger cars, and bigger asses) the last thing we would want to do is give up our exotic slanty eyes for rounder ones.

Alas, that is not the case. I would like the rest of the world to know the popularity of "Asian eyelid surgery" amongst young gooks.

Literally. It's called "Asian eye lid surgery."



If you didn't watch the above clip, a quick explanation of it is: Asians with chinky eyes go under the knife to "fix up" the eyelids to increase the lids' folds. Thereby creating a more "Caucasian" look to the beholder. It's become the vanity procedure to get amongst young rich kids throughout Asia. Kinda like when spoiled white bitches from Beverly Hills get nose and boob jobs when they turn 18. But the thing is, Asian guys get this surgery done as much as Asian girls. Major celebrities all over China, Korea, Japan, and Singapore have had their eyes altered; most notably, Jackie Chan.

When I discovered such a thing "was a thing" amongst my fellow zipperheads, it irked me a little bit. You would think with our superior IQs, Asians have transcended any notion of inferiority from the rest of the world. Especially in terms of the arbitrary notion of beauty, but that all went to shit when you see every other gook surgically altering their eyes to look more "white."

Here's a really hot Korean chick that got her eyes done appearing on the Tyra Banks Show convincing TV viewers it somehow made her hotter. It didn't:


(She's still hot though)

Unfortunately, I finally caved in to the pressure of wishing to look like the rest of America. I guess I just became too white washed for my own good. I can consider this a blessing in disguise.

The need to "look like the rest" was just too overwhelming for me. You just have society breathing down your neck all the time to have bigger eyes. Do you know the feeling of vulnerability walking home alone at night, knowing at any moment someone could blind you with a piece of dental floss? It's horrifying.

I've always felt white inside. So when I opened my eyes, I felt elated to see the new me with my more attractive windows to the soul.

Here's me fresh off the surgery boat. Don't I look nice? Unfortunately my ghetto surgeon kinda fucked up.

The cream... WILL RISE to the TOP! OH YEAH!!!

A joke sent in by the great BlogNigger

What do the Hudson River and the Whitehouse have in common?
They both just got their first Black Boxes.

Happy Inauguration Day!

I like this joke

An American man visits a town in Georgia.

He notices every home has a full portrait of Joseph Stalin displayed in everyone room.

He asks a Georgian why do they adore and idolize the Russian dictator.

The Georgian simply replied, "Because he killed many Russians."

Internet killed the radio star

But unbelievably, it's gotten even worse.

It kinda blows my mind that Indie 103.1 albeit a commercial radio station has recently took themselves off the air.

This bothers me for one reason only...

I don't feel that bad Indie 103.1 is gone but simply for the fact it's almost as if major heads in the music industry WANT to stop making money.

You know if you think about it, maybe the major labels, radio programmers, and their ilk really want to take themselves down from the inside. There just might be some weird network of freak conspirator assholes who just want to make sure decent music goes underground again.

I never thought Indie 103.1 was that great in the first place. First of all, there was nothing "indie" about it. They were corporate sponsored just like any other major radio station and they used the term "indie" to attract a targeted demographic of listeners with its format. But it was pretty good if you compared it to it's disgusting contemporaries that still plays shit rock all day (*ahem* KROQ). Good music is good music whether it's corporate shilled rock or not.

The thing is, Indie 103.1 allowed an outlet for listeners who didn't want to listen to the "other" crap out there in the first place. It was one of the excuses I still had listening to music on the radio. Otherwise I would be listening to talk radio or NPR News on KCRW on my way wherever in my car.

Whoever decided to force Indie 103.1's format as a derivative of basically every other radio station out there only to shut it down shot themselves in the foot. They are isolating and excluding an entire audience and generation of kids to music. Ears are no longer exposed to other things out there by homogenizing broadcasts.

I'm just looking at this from a completely exploitative and capitalistic stand point.

This just reminds me how major labels paid record stores to lie about music sales to the Billboard Charts trying to force itself on the market to make others believe what's truly "selling" and "popular."

Look it up, it wasn't until SoundScan did "alternative" music allow itself mainstream success as record companies realized there was a market for music such as punk rock and such. They were foolish and too greedy to realize music might sell outside of up front promotion and mainstream broadcast play.

Fuck, maybe I'm completely wrong about this. Maybe they know something I don't know. Maybe most people simply fall for this bandwagon effect and they would've have just made more money turning Indie 103.1 another KROQ 2 or KISS FM 2.

The good news for the the station's true fans is that Indie 103.1 will live on as a internet radio broadcast.

However, this is no longer relevant. We have this beautiful thing called the internet itself. No one needs MTV and the radio anymore to find out about new music or who to idolize.

Everyone's their own DJ now. Major players do not have control anymore.

That's why I'm startled at how the music industry is eating itself alive by sheer desperation and short sightedness. It's as if the industry is performing seppuku with the opposite intention. They're killing themselves off for what made itself disgraceful in the first place.

Is it just me?

Or does Guy Picciotto of Fugazi and Rights of Spring fame looks just like Jaz Coleman, the dude from Killing Joke???