He did something very naughty that you kids should NEVER, ever, EVER do.
He solicited sexual favors from a police officer in exchange for money.
Apparently, it is completely legal for you to ask a cop to suck your dick. But that's not the case if you ask a cop to perform the same act for a certain amount of money, even if the cop looked like a fucking whore on the corner of Sunset Boulevard and Western Avenue in the middle of the night at 1 am.
Remember kids, if you're gonna get your rocks off make sure your ho ain't the 5-0.
Because if that ho was a Po-Po, as Rob Halford sang it best, "You got another thing coming!"
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Man those Puero Ricans are really scary
"We're Dominican, dick!"
Note to self: Anyone who shits on the 80's needs to get a punch in the face.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
After the nuclear holocaust...
... the only thing alive left in this world will be cockroaches, Cher, and Slayer fans.
There's something about Slayer fans that will make them last forever.
I swear to God, they will always be around and there will always be the Slayer fan prototype that will eternally walk the Earth.
You can pick them out a mile away in any high school across the country. There's at least one prototype Slayer fan in any state, any county, any city, and any town. Anywhere. Fuck I wouldn't be surprised if there's one in an Amish community.
I'm talking about the ugliest kids in school who have shoulder length hair, ripped jeans, acne, smell, and are in the bottom rung of the social ladder. The beautiful thing is they couldn't care less. They just are. The Slayer fan prototype will wear the slightly over sized Slayer shirt at least 4 days out of the week.
They basically look like that one kid from the West Memphis 3:
Funnier is the fact you can move back and forward through time and they still look the same. You go back 20 years and find Slayer fans who look exactly like Slayer fans in the 90's, who look exactly like Slayer fans now, and who look exactly like Slayer fans 20 years hence.
They all have this endearing "If you don't like Slayer, I will fucking kill you" mentality that I wish other people had of MY favorite bands. Alas, that is not the case. Yeah sure, Metallica and even in a smaller sense Black Flag have kids with this mentality but there's no competition with Slayer.
I don't know why Slayer has this phenomenal fan base, but I envy it completely. Fuck the personality cult of the Beatles. I want the souls of these kids. If I were in a band, I just want that fan base more than anything.
But is Slayer all that deserving???
Like dude, come on.
Dark Angel were so much better:
There's something about Slayer fans that will make them last forever.
I swear to God, they will always be around and there will always be the Slayer fan prototype that will eternally walk the Earth.
You can pick them out a mile away in any high school across the country. There's at least one prototype Slayer fan in any state, any county, any city, and any town. Anywhere. Fuck I wouldn't be surprised if there's one in an Amish community.
I'm talking about the ugliest kids in school who have shoulder length hair, ripped jeans, acne, smell, and are in the bottom rung of the social ladder. The beautiful thing is they couldn't care less. They just are. The Slayer fan prototype will wear the slightly over sized Slayer shirt at least 4 days out of the week.
They basically look like that one kid from the West Memphis 3:
Funnier is the fact you can move back and forward through time and they still look the same. You go back 20 years and find Slayer fans who look exactly like Slayer fans in the 90's, who look exactly like Slayer fans now, and who look exactly like Slayer fans 20 years hence.
They all have this endearing "If you don't like Slayer, I will fucking kill you" mentality that I wish other people had of MY favorite bands. Alas, that is not the case. Yeah sure, Metallica and even in a smaller sense Black Flag have kids with this mentality but there's no competition with Slayer.
I don't know why Slayer has this phenomenal fan base, but I envy it completely. Fuck the personality cult of the Beatles. I want the souls of these kids. If I were in a band, I just want that fan base more than anything.
But is Slayer all that deserving???
Like dude, come on.
Dark Angel were so much better:
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
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