The Blog of Taeil

Even Fascism Isn't Perfect

2011-12-24T09:14:00.000-08:00

I used to literally believe fascism was the most effective form of government but not anymore after being "brain washed" in the military. Cause I realized dictatorships/military rule are flawed in this aspect: When a staff NCO or a colonel thinks up something stupid as a task for his subordinates to perform, no one would raise his hand and say, "Hey, that's retarded" because they're too afraid of repercussions making the higher up look stupid.

That's how the military works a lot of times. A lot of guys do things they don't wanna do and somethings that seem even counter productive just because they're too afraid to speak up about it. The military doesn't award medals for moral courage. I don't know any branch that does. If society ran like that as a whole it would simply fucking suck balls.

It's been a decade...

2011-07-10T23:13:00.000-07:00

Since my first full fledged rock and roll show. I saw Man or Astroman? perform at the El Rey theater back in 2001 on their last blow out tour. They've done a number of reunions since then but it was so amazing to watch as a first time concert.

Having that as a first concert is the equivalent of losing your virginity to Mila Kunis. {That happened to me too by the way.}

Gentiles of Armageddon

2011-05-17T09:23:00.000-07:00

For various reasons I am obsessed with what will happen next in the world in which I live. Maybe it's because of things out of my control in my personal life, but I do obsess about things in the past and present and what will likely happen next in the future. Many moments I feel doom. I know humanity is doomed. I just want to know how it will all end.

Now from my time in Iraq, I have realized, very quickly, I am just a pawn to the people who have REAL control and influence in American foreign policy. I don't exactly know how it's set up. But a guy like C. Wright Mills wrote about this kinda stuff and he makes an awful lot of sense. However, we live in a very politically correct society, so pointing out the fact prominent people with ownership and influence of media conglomerates and international banking happen to be Jews, get less rational people to think there are more nefarious schemes going on. Especially for people REALLY hung up on race . Of course dismissing racist conspiracies, DOES NOT mean American media has the most balanced view about the Israel/Arab conflict, but Jews don't solely drive foreign policy.

In actuality, Jewish influence in international finance is a false link to why the US has always been very pro-Israel. Yeah sure, Paul Wolfowitz was President of the World Bank, but he's dating a frickin' Catholic Arab, so that kinda throws the Jewish supremacy theories into nonsense zone. The reality is people need to consider how much the American military amongst the brass and enlisted ranks are dominated by the Right. More specifically, the Christian Right.

Yes, in my time serving alongside fellow Marines, the general political consensus did not reflect the same latte sipping, self-hating white, liberal, atheists prevalent in more urban (and wealthier) communities. Even though I don't like to play up the latter's assumptions about the military, there was definitely a fundamentalist Christian element within the ranks. Besides poor people of every color, there were Marines I knew who considered their duties in Iraq as some type of new age Crusade. They considered themselves Christian warriors dominating Muslim lands as some weird form of Western chauvinism. It's nice to think the West still has a fighting spirit left, but it's nonetheless disturbing.

Jim Goad once wrote, "Skepticism and curiosity, not Jesus and Mary, are what made the West great."

Religion may have started civilization, but it was never the reason why civilizations progressed. Never. It was always secularism and it will always be secularism. Secularism is an offshoot of skepticism. Separate the church from the state. Separate the powers of the state. Separate the monopoly of media. No one should be the sole arbiter of the truth, especially if the people who tells you the truth is in words written by some goat fucker thousands of years ago.

But it's scary thing to fathom that Pat Robertson's thoughts on the Palestine/Israel conflict are taken literally by people who are issued high-powered, automatic rifles. Christian Zionism isn't anything new, but it's probably the main reason why there is such a large consensus in America supporting the state of Israel. Not because Jews dominate the banks and media, but because Evangelical Christians are convinced when the sons of Abraham return to Jerusalem, Jesus is gonna come back and bring forth the Apocalypse for all of mankind. To imagine REALLY INTELLIGENT GREEDY JEWS aren't the true master minds of the free world, but instead, INSANE RELIGIOUS ZEALOTS with their heads up their ass doesn't give ME a peace of mind. I don't know about you, but that sort of shit simply SCARES THE SHIT OUT OF ME! Christians seriously waiting on Jesus to return can be a really good laugh until you realize thousands of lives are at stake when that becomes true motivation for American foreign policy.

To make matters worse, there is this fellow named Erik Prince. The guy is straight out of a James Bond movie and I don't mean he's one of the good guys. I don't know if you are familiar with his professional life, but he started this little company called Blackwater USA now known as Xe. It was a private military contract corporation. For lack of a better term, the company was a mercenary front. The company got in a scandalous incident where quite a few Iraqi civilians died, and as fast as you can shout "NUREMBERG!" Prince resigned as CEO and ultimately left the "commercial enterprise" altogether.

He might be just like any other insane former Navy Seal turned Evangelical Christian, but he happens to have A LOT of MONEY and GUNS. And if you think about how Islam and guns mixes into a HOLY SHIT stain, you would kinda understand why Christianity and guns don't mix that well either. There are funny things you find out about the guy when you read the New York Times article.

For his new "privatized" security company in the United Arab Emirates, he has an official policy of not hiring Muslims so he hires Colombians instead. They might happen to have ties to deadly drug cartels, but you know, nobody's perfect. Sure contracting this guy out to Arab despots to enforce military rule across the Middle East might just embroil the US even more in the region, but it's most likely Americans will start to care when it's too late. It's not like we have universal conscription or anything.

Now I just wanna return to my point about the fate of the world. Besides the fact the modern world is incredibly dependent on oil, I just don't get why we have been so entrenched with affairs in the Muslim world. There is no way Americans love falafels THAT much. But I'm sure men like Erik Prince has the nation's best interest at heart. Either that or he thinks no matter what stupid or evil shit he does, as long as he's helping out "the cause", he's got that get-out-of-jail-free card from Hell to spend an eternity in Paradise. To that, I say to myself, "Oh Sky Cake, why must you be so delicious?"

Infotainment

2011-01-10T22:57:00.001-08:00

You know, last year was the deadliest year for American forces in Afghanistan (after 9 years of occupation).

As we speak, Congress is writing (and will probably pass) one of the most restrictive internet laws in history.

Multinational corporations have made record profits and continue to do so, while many of my friends are running out of unemployment benefits during this economic “recovery.”

But it’s {relieving} to know, ALL of the news media networks will use these crimes in Arizona as a talking point about America’s favorite Republican for the next month. {That’s what I call progress.}

Goodbye Captain Beefheart!

2010-12-22T16:18:00.000-08:00

Captain Beefheart (Don Van Vliet) recently died.

An old friend of mine has a father who is now a cremator in Torrance. He was a former sound engineer who worked with various acts in the music industry throughout the 70s and 80s. He also happened to do A LOT of cocaine with Fleetwoood Mac. I just had to throw that in there. Any ways, he told me the most bizarre person he ever worked with in the music industry was Captain Beefheart. He dealt with Mr. Beefheart recording Doc at the Radar Station along with his peculiar "sense of humor" and his tendencies just to do some flat out weird shit.

First of all, he would insist on using the AC to bring the temperature down to 40 degrees or below in the recording studio. Everyone would wear all kinds of shit because they were freezing their balls off and Don would be totally incredulous. He really loved the cold. He also had a set of magic markers and a sketch book handy, and he would give "autographs" sketching out random shit and give them to people whether they asked or NOT. Don also revealed to my friend's father he had a "falling out" with Frank Zappa. He was really pissed at Zappa for writing the song "Jewish Princess". I don't know what exactly offended Mr. Beefheart. He wasn't Jewish himself and Zappa was the one who was actually "semite" and the peculiar song was about literally fucking Jewish chicks. But I guess that's a good excuse to dump a highschool friend who happened to be a rich rockstar.

He had enough friends any way. His wife had a ton of cats and he would invite the studio guys over to his Arizona home to meet the UFOs who would land at his place. He was dead serious.

My friend's dad aptly put his experience in one statement saying, "That guy did too much fucking acid."

My Korean name

2010-12-20T02:53:00.000-08:00

"Kim" is actually an Anglicized version of my prevalent Korean last name along with my first. It almost follows the Irish American tradition.

"Kim" is suppose to be pronounced more like "Gim" if you were to actually say it properly in Korean.

"Taeil" should be hyphenated like "Tae-il" when you pronounce my first name in proper Korean, there is a pause between the name as if it were two syllables. The first part is pronounced "TAY" and the last part is pronounced "ILL."

But I insist all of you pronounce my first name as "TAIL" because you guys fucking suck at sounding like gooks.

The State of American Politics

2010-12-13T05:55:00.000-08:00

George W. Bush tricked rednecks across this country into thinking he was the President who will work for their interests. The current President has done the same thing with the lower class of another particular type of people.

What is a hipster?

2010-11-15T01:47:00.000-08:00

Of all the unanswered questions of our time, perhaps the most important is: "What is a hipster?"

One of the social survey organizations in America recently asked this question of a hundred different people, and got answers ranging from “someone who sets a trend” to “someone who follows trends”. In this country if you ask the average thinking person to define hipster, he usually answers by pointing to new trends in New York and Los Angeles. But this is very unsatisfactory, because even the major hipsters differ from one another a good deal in musical taste and fashion sense.

It is not easy, for instance, to fit Williamsburg and Echo Park into the same framework, and it is even harder with some of the small cities which are describable as hipster. It is usually assumed, for instance, that hipsters inherently are all the same, that they thrive in an atmosphere of drug and alcohol fueled hysteria and can only solve their economic problems by means of starting their own record label or graphic design. But clearly this is not true of, say, Sean Carlson or the various writers at Pitchfork. Or again, the anti-corporate stance is supposed to be one of the distinguishing marks of a hipster; but some hipster movements are backed by major labels. Learned controversies, reverberating for years on end in magazines, have not even been able to determine whether or not hipster is a form of urban lifestyle. But still, when we apply the term “hipster” to Kerri Ferrell or Japanther or people who read THIS site, we know broadly what we mean. It is in internal politics that this word has lost the last vestige of meaning. For if you examine the press you will find that there is almost no set of people — certainly no music scene or organized art movement of any kind — which has not been denounced as hipster during the past ten years. Here I am not speaking of the verbal use of the term “hipster.” I am speaking of what I have seen in print. I have seen the words “hip” or “hipsterism" or just plain “hipster" applied in all seriousness to the following bodies of people:

Art fags: All art fags, whether they like it or not, are held to be pro-hipster. Art fag rule in the early beatnik scene is held to be indistinguishable from the original hipsters. Organizations of what one might call an "artsy" and "faggy" type are labelled "hipster" or "hip."
Examples are 19th century bohemians, Banksy, WIRE, Museum of Modern Art, and people who frequent the Smell and ABC No Rio.
Key phrase: "Art schools are breeding-grounds of hipsters."

Indie rock: Defenders of indie rock (ex: Pavement, Sonic Youth) maintain that indie rock and "hipster music" are the same thing. Some journalists maintain that indie rockers have been the principal collaborators in the hipster-occupied scenes. The same accusation is made from a different angle by the people who lived in Seattle during the grunge era where everyone signed to SubPop.

Punks who "don't just listen to punk": Punks charge other punks who listen to anything BESIDES punk as being hipsters and posers. This was widely believed by crusties when some friends went emo. In their ultra-punk phases, punks accused anyone who listened to hardcore acts like the Refused to be hipsters. Then anyone who didn't listen to The Shape of Punk to Come right when it came out became hipsters.

People who always bitch about hipsters: Hipster haters and other anti-hipsters are frequently accused of being hipsters themselves or having hipster envy.

Supporters of Obama: Republicans usually claim that being a hip liberal is worse than being a proper conservative, and tend to apply the term “hipsters” to anyone who wished for Obama’s victory. Members of the GOP came near to claiming that willingness to NOT resist Obama was a sign of hipster sympathy. Shepard Fairey’s HOPE poster was denounced as a hipster ad campaign as soon as it appeared. In addition, the Right tends to equate hipsters with the Left. Politically conscious young nearly always refer to their hipster friends as “liberal-minded.” Voting Democrat, environmentalism, and going vegan/vegetarian are all considered conducive to hipsters. Before it was popular, owning Apple products was regarded as a sign of hipster tendencies. Reading the Leftist blog Gawker and pretending to read Noam Chomsky are both denounced as "hipster phenomena."

Music scenes: Music scenes are universally regarded as inherently hipster, but this is held only to apply to such scenes the speaker happens to disapprove of. Lo-fi, power violence, Norwegian black metal, and electroclash are all described as hipster but not by the same people.
****

It will be seen that, as used, the word “hipster” is almost entirely meaningless. In conversation, of course, it is used even more wildly than in print. I have heard it applied to organic food, record shops, skinny jeans, social climbing, Pabst Blue Ribbon, bikes, All Tomorrow’s Parties, Sarah Silverman, Zach Galifianakis, Kanye West, Ke$ha, Justin Bieber, metrosexuality, KXLU/WFMU broadcasts, astrology, seeking a spouse, and even Hitler.

Yet underneath all this mess there does lie a kind of buried meaning. To begin with, it is clear that there are very great differences, some of them easy to point out and not easy to explain away, between what is “hip” and what is “played out” or even what is “bro.”

Secondly, if “hipster” means “trying to be cool but not being so obvious,” some of the accusations I have listed above are obviously very much more justified than others. Thirdly, even the people who recklessly fling the word “hipster” in every direction attach at any rate an emotional significance to it. By "hipster" they mean, roughly speaking, not mainstream, something retro, obscurantist, anti-Ed Hardy, and pro-American Apparel. Except for the relatively small number of hipster sympathizers, almost any person would accept "scenester" as a synonym for "hipster." That is about as near to a definition as this much-abused word has come.

But hipster is also a subculture. Why, then, cannot we have a clear and generally accepted definition of it? Alas! We shall not get one — not yet, anyway. To say why would take too long, but basically it is because it is impossible to define hipster satisfactorily without making admissions which neither the hipster themselves, nor hip hop kids, nor gutter punks, nor metalheads, nor fixies of any color, are willing to make. All one can do for the moment is to use the word with a certain amount of circumspection and not, as is usually done, degrade it to the level of a swearword.

Originally posted HERE

Prop 19. Denied.

2010-11-08T00:09:00.001-08:00

Prop 19 didn't pass. Bummer. I don't really give a shit about weed but I wanted Proposition 19 to pass for one and one thing only.

Prop 19 would have gotten your average, anti-government, conspiracy pothead to shut the fuck up for about a good 10 seconds.

"You know, the government keeps marijuana illegal because it's the cotton and timber industry trying to get rid of competition. They're all in on it DUDE!"

If the cotton and timber industry were really that big, bad and evil, don't you think they would just lobby Congress and monopolize on marijuana instead of conspiring to keep it illegal?

I'm sure they aren't that afraid of small business hippies they can rape with industrial hemp.

"Nah man, it's the fucking corporate power structure trying to bring the man down blah blah blah..."

California you blew it. Well potheads blew it (pun not intended). Their bean bags may have been just too comfortable to walk away from for the nearest voting booth.

Police Story

2010-11-08T00:01:00.000-08:00

This happened in 2005.

Devin Redman smoked a lot of meth. I spotted him after he jacked my cell phone so I smacked a skateboard over his head and proceeded to beat the shit out of him. This was out in public so people called the police. Surprisingly the police are not too fond of vigilantes beating up evil doers.

After I was put in handcuffs, Devin refused to press charges because he had warrants out for his arrest. So he just kinda got the fuck outta there. The cops let me go and they were still dicks about it. The moral of the story is fuck tweakers, and most importantly fuck the police.

I have no idea if Devin Redman still smokes meth. Fuck that guy.

No gods. No heavens. No hells.

2010-09-28T21:11:00.000-07:00

I don't like being an athiest. I don't like the idea bad people who do bad things to good people won't receive some sort divine justice in this life or the next. Who wants existence like that?

Fuck Retro Nostalgia

2010-09-17T02:14:00.000-07:00

Fuck this nostalgia of music. I've seen the greatest rock shows (some free no less) in my own lifetime and I'm only 23. Even if most of those bands didn't GO ANYWHERE but fuck it. Many great acts have not been documented or praised by the rock journalist elite of being relevant. Fuck it and fuck the latter. I didn't see Black Flag back in '82 but I saw Rock Goggle Fantasy in a room full of sand and CROM with beer flying all over the place.

People will always spawn music that will go toe to toe with all that classic stuff. It's out there. You just gotta find it.

Time to come clean

2010-09-08T06:10:00.000-07:00

I really like fucking with people on the internet. I know it's lame. So I say a bunch of ambiguous and sarcastic stuff ridiculing people. But it's time to come forward and be homies with all of y'all.

You know that crazy whack job Alex Jones? He always talks about the corporate globalist agenda? I'm kinda all for that. No like seriously. And Obama's a great figure head for it. Double serious. So yeah. That's where I stand in politics. No more ambiguities. Fuck you. Suck my balls.

Oh and the third world mainly consists of a bunch of backward idiots who need to be TAUGHT HOW TO READ and be MODERNIZED by gun point. That sounds really mean but I'm just being honest.

FINALS

2010-06-07T20:18:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine (a Bostonite) bet against the Lakers for $100. I told him to get a seat for the third game and yell "RAPE!" through a loudspeaker every time Kobe has possession.

Three 6 Mafia

2010-05-14T07:17:00.000-07:00

I had to live with this black Marine who always blasted the most blatant thuggery you can bump out of a boombox. I ended up fucking LOVING that shit.

I lied

2010-03-26T19:25:00.000-07:00

Karp's "Bacon Industry" is NOT the greatest song ever. THIS is the greatest song ever:

What's in a name?

2010-03-14T17:54:00.000-07:00

There was this black guy I knew who had a tattoo of his last name "Banner." I asked him if it was Irish. He thought I was stupid. Then again, I'm not the one with my slave name permanently etched on my arm.

Greatest song EVER

2010-03-13T15:10:00.001-08:00

I don't even know the words to this song. One part I think he sings (screams), "I got no pork!"

That's about it.

Fuck racism

2010-02-23T23:25:00.000-08:00

I'm not gonna name this Colombian friend of mine but I asked him how good the cocaine was in Colombia. He got really pissed at me for asking that and expressed how he is resentful about people's assumptions and prejudice about Colombia as a country run by drug dealers.

I felt very ashamed of my own ignorance about beautiful Colombia by stereotyping her wonderful people in such a way. How dare I suggest Colombia was a country run by drug dealers and that was all that she had to offer? The nation has a vast rich cultural history and shouldn't be tarnished by petty insensitive view points perpetuated by me.

Anyways. I later found out he was a drug dealer.

Six Stories

2010-02-23T23:22:00.000-08:00

Matt Gilger's dad was a Presbyterian minister. I went to his 13th birthday and he had a back yard pro-wrestling tournament set up at his house. It was awesome. Years later Matt taped over Randy Herman's skate video Randy was about to send to sponsors with footage of himself jacking off. Last thing I heard about the guy was that he joined the Army.

Nathan Gibson's dad was a sound engineer who worked with Captain Beefheart and did a bunch of blow with Fleetwood Mac. He got kinda racist after not getting paid recording NWA. He currently works as a cremator in Torrance.

Back in high school, my friends and I tried to procure sheets of acid from someone who ended up being Lisa Marie Presley's son. Yeah that's right, Elvi's grandson. He fucked us over by taking all the acid and then he freaked out, stole a car, and disappeared for a while. I was pissed at that time but I think it's really funny now.

In senior year, I caught Tami Kim giving Corey Sung a handjob in the library. Tami was always a bitch to me in Korean class and Corey threatened to punch me in the face if I told anybody. Corey and I ended up at UCLA and I saw him 2 years later with 80 extra pounds of scary muscle. I'm pretty sure steroids hooked him up with that. I hope he doesn't know I told all their friends the handjob story the day I graduated West High.

The only time I've been offered crack was by a Harbor City crip named Dooran. I thought that his name was really funny because it was a mix between "Duran" and "doo-rag." Anyways, he was holding up a bag of rocks with a huge grin on his face asking me, "You wanna smoke some rocks kid?"
It was way too much like an after school special for me so I passed.

Erik the Red worked at the now defunct Go-Boy Records in Redondo Beach. He worked "under the table" and stood around all day listening to punk rock. He hated people so much he would play Skrewdriver's "White Power" every time someone came in the store. Now he's touring with a band which opens for Green Day.

Blasphemy

2010-02-21T20:41:00.000-08:00

All I'm saying is maybe a guy walking around in ancient Jerusalem calling himself "the Son of God" and "King of the Jews" kinda got whatever was coming to him. Maybe even a second one.

Labyrinth

2010-02-10T17:09:00.000-08:00

A friend of mine had a hard-on for this chick really into Bowie. She pussy whipped him into watching Labyrinth with her 50 times. He didn't get laid but he at least still knows the song "Magic Dance" word for word.

I am a master conversationalist.

2010-02-09T16:01:00.000-08:00

When guys say rapey shit such as, "I'll drink a gallon of her piss to see where it came from."

I'll end the conversation with, "I'll eat a bowl of her poo..."

in conversation

2010-01-28T16:42:00.001-08:00

Me: "The sausage fest that is the skate scene counterbalances the lack of heterosexual males in the figure skating world."

Sean Noonan: "Nah man, it's not a total sausage fest. You never heard of ramp tramps?"

This is kinda dick sucky but whatever

2010-01-28T03:15:00.000-08:00

MySpace comment:

I'm really sad to know you guys are gonna play your last shows in Texas and I won't be out there. I've seen you guys perform once opening for Annihilation Time and thought you guys blew them out of the fucking water. That's hard to do.

It's been a while to see a hardcore play with real speed and intensity including killer riffs for this jaded punk rocker.

When I saw you guys play out in Boyle Heights I felt like this is what it must have felt like to be a kid watching Black Flag or DRI play back in 1982. You guys are the greatest band in the fucking world right now.

ANS on MySpace

Money

2009-12-30T04:39:00.000-08:00

Money does two things:

1. When you give it up it gets you stuff.

2. Having lots of it is gives you peace of mind and social status.

Otherwise it's a fancy IOU from the government which it gives out ALOT.

A Christmas Gift For Phil Spector

2009-12-25T01:44:00.000-08:00

Hey, have you guys heard that Phil Spector Christmas album? It's pretty frickin' good.

By the way, I hope you you have a Merry Christmas Phil! Even if you are in jail for shooting some bitch in the face.

Dear Ladies

2009-12-15T19:08:00.000-08:00

Just to bum you out, every guy you had sex with bragged to somebody about it. Well depending on how you look at it that's not so bad. You could be "the hot bitch out of their league" lay or something...

Semper Fidelis,
Me

The Weirdness

2009-12-13T11:27:00.000-08:00

Hey remember when the Stooges got back together and made another album and you'd hope it was like Judas Priest's Painkiller but it ended up being shitty as Bowie's last album.

Racist Generalization No. 36

2009-12-08T11:12:00.001-08:00

You can trust white people with most stuff except backing you up in a fight.

Racist Generalization No. 49

2009-11-17T01:30:00.000-08:00

You would think with all the fighting that goes on in hockey, black dudes would be really into it. Okay, so this is more like a racist de-generalization.

Gary Numan

2009-11-04T22:30:00.000-08:00

When I listen to Gary Numan, I think about Sega Saturn and Tokyo. Yeah, I know it's fucking weird...

P.S. There's like a MILLION of these commercials for the Saturn on YouTube.

Racist Generalization No. 72

2009-11-04T22:20:00.001-08:00

There's not a lot of black nerds in the world. But when you do find one, they are always SUPER nerdy to make up for the lack of nerds in the black community.

Fake engine noises for electric vehicles

2009-11-01T14:04:00.000-08:00

Well apparently, future electric vehicles may have fake engine noises installed in them because people are just used to it and it's somehow a safety hazard making vehicles too quiet. But isn't that what blasting punk out of your stereo and the horn on the steering wheel is for?

So anyways, even though the concept is completely gay, can we at least make that shit customizable? There should be options to whatever engine sound I want my would be electric car to have.

For instance, there's the flying Delorean from Back To The Future:

I'd also wanna consider having the Tim Burton Batmobile during my evening rides:

As for riding electric motorcycles, I'm sorta stuck on Kaneda's bike from AKIRA:

But the light cycle from Tron is a close runner up:

And who knows maybe I wanna car that sounds like this:

A few fleeting thoughts on the war in Afghanistan

2009-10-26T18:39:00.000-07:00

Maybe we really should just give up Afghanistan. But then we would have to pretend to have a REAL good excuse to stay in Iraq besides saying, "We want priority over your oil and run your economy with our U.S. dollars."

Otherwise, this country might as well collapse and give everything up to the Chinese. FUCK that.

Fuck Your Opinion

2009-10-26T18:28:00.000-07:00

"I don't ask other men's opinions. I have my own." - Charles Manson

"Who the fuck WANTS to be a critic?" - Lou Reed

Seriously, people who go on for more than about two sentences of opinions should go fucking die. Like right here at this point. Opinions are for the weak and homosexual.

Rock journalism might be the most pretentious thing in the world which can only be contended by philosophy majors. Yeah dude, the album is great and all but it's not gonna sound any better cause you ramble on about OK Computer and how Thom Yorke's words and vocals perfectly capture the despair and desperation of the human soul in the song "Exit Music (For A Film)". How about you stop sounding like a fucking queer, shut the fuck up, and let the music speak for itself. Hell, what if I think the song simply sucks?

The only reason why you want to read anything is to gain knowledge or for shits and giggles. Not to waste your eyes away reading some one's half-assed musings about music/art/movie/etc. criticism. If you are the type of asshole who must read reviews about ANYTHING for pages and pages you fucking suck.

"Opinions are like assholes; everyone's got one" - Dirty Harry

What's even worse is when people get infuriated about opinions. Dude, seriously, think about. Doesn't having your own views and beliefs make you special the way you are?

People who are smug because others are pleased by what they think also suffer from being insecure douchebags when dudes can't care less. Besides, if everyone had the same opinion about everything it would be a boring place like some lame, zombie, dystopian future.

You know the dudes who had the best opinions? Beavis & Butthead.

Yeah, those clowns. Cause they just broke it down to "this sucks" or "this kicks ass."

That's all you need to know. Just simple, sweet, and no fucking half page print necessary.

Whatever, it's not like my opinion isn't retarded. I'm not you.

"Good taste is creativity's greatest enemy" - Pablo Picasso (His art totally sucked by the way)

Van Halen's "Jump"

2009-10-22T21:01:00.000-07:00

Van Halen's "Jump" is a very bad 80's song. It's almost as if they knew ahead of time it was gonna be the kinda song someone would make up to make fun of 80's music. Except they made the quintessential shitty 80's song people ate up because hipster irony wasn't invented yet.

Russian Humor

2009-10-14T11:51:00.001-07:00

There are two types of Russian humor:

One is political humor, which is dark, absurd, and hilarious.

The other is non-political humor, which is light, absurd, and retarded.

"One death is a tragedy. One million is a statistic." - Joseph Stalin (Russian comedian)

The Six Million Dollar Gook

2009-10-12T03:08:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I wonder what would have happened to me if I got blown to pieces in Iraq. Maybe the government would have used my remains to build a cyborg à la RoboCop to win the war against terror.

Why is everyone hatin' on Roman Polanski?

2009-10-05T20:00:00.000-07:00

Raping a 13 year old girl is OK as long as it happened 30 years ago and you made shitty art house flicks in that period of time. The rest of Hollywood agrees with me here.

Flannel

2009-10-04T20:29:00.000-07:00

You know, I was hip to flannel by the age of 9. My mom bought me oversized post-grunge clothes which I still wear to this day. Thanks Mom! Shopping at Ross certainly paid off.

No, I'm being fucking serious. All the flannel shirts I have are vintage 90's discount clothes.

Also, calling 90's stuff vintage bums out my older friends.

Fades

2009-10-04T20:27:00.001-07:00

When I see a white guy with a faded haircut. I assume he's in the military. When I see an Asian or Mexican guy with a faded haircut. I assume he's really, really Asian or Mexican.

Now the real question is: Is the Mexican trying to be Asian or is the Asian trying to Mexican?

2012

2009-09-28T01:45:00.000-07:00

There are more nuclear arms proliferated throughout the world than there was during the Cold War. Yet people are more worried about retarded shit like the Mayan calender ending at 2012 than the eventual holocaust. No wonder we're fucked as a race.

Racist Generalization No. 23

2009-09-24T21:08:00.000-07:00

ugly asian + ugly negro + fucking = beautiful black asian baby

This shit makes me love humanity

2009-09-24T01:24:00.001-07:00

Eskimo pies are coming for me!

2009-09-21T20:21:00.001-07:00

So clowns SHOULDN'T be scary?

2009-09-21T05:19:00.000-07:00

Okay let's take the basic premise of professional "clowning" for a second. These are full grown adults who put on make up and colored wigs cause they wanna play around with little kids all day. Isn't that a TAD bit creepy to you?

Tapatío

2009-09-13T23:32:00.000-07:00

What a great sauce. If you could eat AIDS, it would probably taste better with some Tapatío.

Husker Du Sept 11?

2009-09-11T17:02:00.000-07:00

It's been 8 years since the Twin Towers fell. We are still fighting the "war on terror." Maybe one day we will win. You know cause I'm pretty sure terrorists will give it up after doing it forever.

Ironic Sexual Requests

2009-09-08T19:53:00.000-07:00

My sister wore a shirt with the words "Suck My Dick" and made alot of people laugh. Would I have the same effect wearing a shirt that read "Eat My Pussy"???

Generation X

2009-09-02T02:10:00.000-07:00

Fuck people in their 30s. Yeah dude, you lived through the "scene" when you were young but give it a fucking rest. They "rediscovered" punk when it was already an unoriginal done deal at the time.

Being "hip" in the 90's was gayer than being "hip" now....

At least when I become bitter and old, I'll say, "Yeah we were lame fucking hipsters. But at least we weren't 'grunge' or 'alternative' and listened to shit bands like the Spin Doctors."

Mosh Pits

2009-09-01T14:26:00.000-07:00

You know, Ian MacKaye might be right about moshing just being an excuse for certain jock idiots to hurt somebody... But what the FUCK are you supposed to do at a Slayer show? Clap?? Do the mashed potato???

And yes, that is Mike Muir from Suicidal Tendencies introducing the band.

Facts of life

2009-08-29T06:26:00.001-07:00

As an Iraq war veteran and a kid who grew up in Koreatown during the L.A. riots, I certainly don't like to talk to liberal, pampered rich hipsters about "the way it is."

Teeth

2009-08-25T23:53:00.001-07:00

Yeah I know, this movie's been out for a while but what's the big deal with vaginas with that shit?

Like seriously, a girl can bite off your dick anytime she wants. It's not like there's any guy out there scared of getting head.

Revolutionary Road

2009-08-23T10:36:00.001-07:00

Did men cry that much when they had sex in the 1950's? What is up with this crying? Holy shit. Don't know what I'm talking about? Just watch the movie.

The closest thing I've come to crying during any sexual act is when this girl was giving me a really bad hand job and starting yanking my dick like an ape. She scared my boner away.

Andrew WK

2009-08-17T04:37:00.000-07:00

Why the FUCK didn't more metal heads get into Andrew WK? His backing band was Obituary, Children of Bodom covered "She is Beautiful", but then most of his fans were indie rock fags.

Seriously, the guy has such a great live show:

Horrible Idea No. 62 (That I secretly think is awesome)

2009-08-03T14:44:00.000-07:00

They should bring gladiators and arenas back for all those people on death row. Just like how the Romans did it, ya know? Fuck wasting tax dollars on petty things such as defense attorneys, trials, litigation, appeals, etc.

Let's just get inmates to fight each other to the death and the winner wins his/her life back. We can have these matches as public viewings and get Gatorade and Adidas to sponsor the events for shit tons of money.

I'm being considerate. It will help the economy.

Metallica

2009-07-28T23:25:00.000-07:00

Has anyone noticed they have the most ridiculous band name taken seriously ever???

They are so "into" being the genre of music they play they HAD to have it as the main part of the name. That's like a punk rock band being called "Punktastic" and then selling a shit ton of records.

Van Halen

2009-07-07T14:48:00.000-07:00

Did they get better kicking out David Lee Roth and getting Sammy Hagar or am I just crazy?

Rap singles are fucking amazing

2009-07-04T14:13:00.000-07:00

I just got this 12" inch single for "Stuntin' Like My Daddy"

A-side:
1) Street version (the dirty track)
2) Radio edit

B-side:
1) Instrumental track (HELLO! Karaoke anybody?)
2) Acappella track

This is why God made vinyl.

Proud to be an American (sort of)

2009-06-05T15:03:00.000-07:00

Dude, if I wasn't such a patriot I would be burning flags in piles after I watched THIS:

This must be how Christians feel when they listen to shitty Christian music. I'm pretty sure all of it's bad.

In light of Kari Ferrell's heightened notoriety,

2009-05-08T13:33:00.001-07:00

remember the last Korean to get on Dateline NBC?

Vampires

2009-04-25T14:34:00.000-07:00

They were pretty awesome since The Lost Boys and Buffy, and then Twilight had to come on the scene to bum me the fuck out.

Dear Pete Doherty,

2009-04-21T03:05:00.001-07:00

When the fuck are you gonna die?

Semper Fidelis,
Me

Sadly, AKIRA will become an American live action movie

2009-04-13T16:51:00.000-07:00

Starring Leonardo Di Crap Pee-o and that dude from 3rd Rock from the Sun. Nice.

I wish I was in a huge rock band,

2009-04-09T16:58:00.000-07:00

just to perform in China at Tiananmen Square in front of at least a thousand Chinese
and ask, "Hey you guys know what happened here in the summer of 1989?"

Then say, ".... Absolutely nothing!"

Pirates vs. Ninjas

2009-04-02T01:28:00.001-07:00

What's wrong with you? Fucking pirates win dickface. You seriously can still get fucked up by one today.

When's the last time you heard about someone being killed off by a ninja? You see? Pirates fucking win.

Unless, you count Navy Seals. But they're in the water all the time, which makes them kinda pirate-y.

Besides, pirates were way more punk rock anyway. They were all about getting tattoos, getting laid, getting drunk, and stealing your shit. They were like bikers by the sea before there were bikers.

In spite of the Japanese victory in the WBC

2009-03-25T14:51:00.000-07:00

I want you all to remember this:

Let's Kill Irony

2009-03-14T15:34:00.000-07:00

I think it might have all started after September 11, when everybody threw around the phrase "the death of irony." The only reason "irony is dead" might be because no one uses the word properly anymore.

How many fucking times have you heard the term "irony" about hipsters being used with no sense of the actual definition of the word? Along the lines of this guy wears this and that in "ironic fashion."

How is wearing a trucker hat, growing out a mustache, or going to trips to a bowling alley ironic in anyway? Even the genius over at Stuff White People Like is guilty of this redundancy.

Jim Goad's incredible thesis on the phrase "Literally Thrown Under the Bus" established the fact people who make incorrectly defined statements over and over again are simply killing off the English language. The use of the word irony is no less a formidable threat.

Friends, it's time to bring all of this to an end. Things which would have been called ironic (e.g. short shorts, facial hair, trucker hats, 80's fashion, etc.) a few years ago are now simply considered cliché. And what a cliché it is, for the real problem of this agenda is that IRONY is FOREVER.

Merriam-Webster gives the following definition of irony:
1: a pretense of ignorance and of willingness to learn from another assumed in order to make the other's false conceptions conspicuous by adroit questioning —called also Socratic irony
2: the use of words to express something other than and especially the opposite of the literal meaning
3: incongruity between the actual result of a sequence of events and the normal or expected result

It can be put under a literary or situational context, but there are inherent characteristics in what makes something ironic. When people use the word "irony" or "ironic" outside of this general definition, it infuriates me in a degree more than some Canadian bitch singing about it raining on her wedding day. It's never an ironic indulgence listening to ABBA and wearing a Megadeth t-shirt (unless you are Kirk Hammett). It simply should be considered appreciating Sweden's greatest export and being a purveyor of style.

You see, when someone uses the word "irony" or "ironic" about "hipsters going to a strip club" or ANYONE for that matter wearing or doing something outside of their general roles and tastes, it takes away the true beauty of irony. Such as getting hit and killed by an ambulance truck or Ryan Gosling's character in The Believer who is a Neo-Nazi skinhead and closet Jew (putting a wonderful new twist to the term "self-hating Jew").

Let's not forget the fact that things put under the category of "ironic fashion" takes away from fashion that is truly ironic, such as a "NO FAT CHICKS" t-shirt on a fat chick, or a Skrewdriver shirt on a black guy, or a shirt that says "Driving School Instructor" on me. Hell, it could even be the t-shirt itself that is ironic.

But unfortunately, such wonderful adventures in irony are threatened by those who don't truly understand the concept of why it is so. So having said all that, I hereby decree by the powers appointed by this readership, anyone who uses the term "irony" or "ironic" about something but can't justify its irony in the first place, deserves a swift kick in the nuts (or vag). That my friends, is something I'm not being ironic about.

Fuck that punk bullshit

2009-03-08T15:49:00.000-07:00

Everyone knows it's all about metal. And there's nothing more metal than zebra skin:

Dear Brian Wilson,

2009-03-03T15:11:00.000-08:00

Remember when your dad used to make you pray a lot or he would beat you with an iron cross? Then you dropped acid and made Pet Sounds and it was all kinda worth it?

Good times.

Semper Fidelis,
Me

I had to bail my uncle out of jail

2009-02-28T12:55:00.000-08:00

He did something very naughty that you kids should NEVER, ever, EVER do.

He solicited sexual favors from a police officer in exchange for money.

Apparently, it is completely legal for you to ask a cop to suck your dick. But that's not the case if you ask a cop to perform the same act for a certain amount of money, even if the cop looked like a fucking whore on the corner of Sunset Boulevard and Western Avenue in the middle of the night at 1 am.

Remember kids, if you're gonna get your rocks off make sure your ho ain't the 5-0.

Because if that ho was a Po-Po, as Rob Halford sang it best, "You got another thing coming!"

My War

2009-02-22T21:39:00.000-08:00

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/07/18/AR2007071802785.html

Man those Puero Ricans are really scary

2009-02-19T18:42:00.000-08:00

"We're Dominican, dick!"

Note to self: Anyone who shits on the 80's needs to get a punch in the face.

After the nuclear holocaust...

2009-02-07T03:20:00.000-08:00

... the only thing alive left in this world will be cockroaches, Cher, and Slayer fans.

There's something about Slayer fans that will make them last forever.

I swear to God, they will always be around and there will always be the Slayer fan prototype that will eternally walk the Earth.

You can pick them out a mile away in any high school across the country. There's at least one prototype Slayer fan in any state, any county, any city, and any town. Anywhere. Fuck I wouldn't be surprised if there's one in an Amish community.

I'm talking about the ugliest kids in school who have shoulder length hair, ripped jeans, acne, smell, and are in the bottom rung of the social ladder. The beautiful thing is they couldn't care less. They just are. The Slayer fan prototype will wear the slightly over sized Slayer shirt at least 4 days out of the week.

They basically look like that one kid from the West Memphis 3:

Funnier is the fact you can move back and forward through time and they still look the same. You go back 20 years and find Slayer fans who look exactly like Slayer fans in the 90's, who look exactly like Slayer fans now, and who look exactly like Slayer fans 20 years hence.

They all have this endearing "If you don't like Slayer, I will fucking kill you" mentality that I wish other people had of MY favorite bands. Alas, that is not the case. Yeah sure, Metallica and even in a smaller sense Black Flag have kids with this mentality but there's no competition with Slayer.

I don't know why Slayer has this phenomenal fan base, but I envy it completely. Fuck the personality cult of the Beatles. I want the souls of these kids. If I were in a band, I just want that fan base more than anything.

But is Slayer all that deserving???

Like dude, come on.

Dark Angel were so much better:

OORAH!

2009-02-03T02:10:00.001-08:00

What has 9 arms and sucks ass?

2009-01-31T21:57:00.000-08:00

But I have to admit this is a great song.

Asian Eyelid Surgery

2009-01-29T02:42:00.000-08:00

You would think of all the things Asians would envy about other races (e.g. bigger dicks, bigger cars, and bigger asses) the last thing we would want to do is give up our exotic slanty eyes for rounder ones.

Alas, that is not the case. I would like the rest of the world to know the popularity of "Asian eyelid surgery" amongst young gooks.

Literally. It's called "Asian eyelid surgery."

If you didn't watch the above clip, a quick explanation of it is Asians with chinky eyes go under the knife to "fix up" the eyelids to increase the lids' folds. Thereby creating a more "Caucasian" look to the beholder. It's become the vanity procedure to get amongst young rich kids throughout Asia. Kinda like when spoiled white bitches from Beverly Hills get nose and boob jobs when they turn 18. But the thing is, Asian guys get this surgery done as much as Asian girls. Major celebrities all over China, Korea, Japan, and Singapore have had their eyes altered; most notably, Jackie Chan.

When I discovered such a thing "was a thing" amongst my fellow zipperheads, it irked me a little bit. You would think with our superior IQs, asians have transcended any notion of inferiority from the rest of the world. Especially in terms of the arbitrary notion of beauty, but that all went to shit when you see every other gook surgically altering their eyes to look more "white."

Here's a really hot Korean chick that got her eyes done appearing on the Tyra Banks Show convincing TV viewers it somehow made her hotter. It didn't:

(She's still hot though)

Unfortunately, I finally caved in to the pressure of wishing to look like the rest of America. I guess I just became too white washed for my own good. I can consider this a blessing in disguise.

The need to "look like the rest" was just too overwhelming for me. You just have society breathing down your neck all the time to have bigger eyes. Do you know the feeling of vulnerability walking home alone at night, knowing at any moment someone could blind you with a piece of dental floss? It's horrifying.

I've always felt white inside. So when I opened my eyes, I felt elated to see the new me with my more attractive windows to the soul.

Here's me fresh off the surgery boat. Don't I look nice? Unfortunately my ghetto surgeon kinda fucked up.

The cream... WILL RISE to the TOP! OH YEAH!!!

2009-01-22T04:22:00.000-08:00

A joke sent in by the great BlogNigger

2009-01-20T17:44:00.000-08:00

What do the Hudson River and the Whitehouse have in common?
They both just got their first Black Boxes.

Happy Inauguration Day!

I like this joke

2009-01-18T16:08:00.000-08:00

An American man visits a town in Georgia.

He notices every home has a full portrait of Joseph Stalin displayed in everyone room.

He asks a Georgian why do they adore and idolize the Russian dictator.

The Georgian simply replied, "Because he killed many Russians."

Internet killed the radio star

2009-01-15T23:40:00.000-08:00

But unbelievably, it's gotten even worse.

It kinda blows my mind that Indie 103.1 albeit a commercial radio station has recently took themselves off the air.

This bothers me for one reason only...

I don't feel that bad Indie 103.1 is gone but simply for the fact it's almost as if major heads in the music industry WANT to stop making money.

You know if you think about it, maybe the major labels, radio programmers, and their ilk really want to take themselves down from the inside. There just might be some weird network of freak conspirator assholes who just want to make sure decent music goes underground again.

I never thought Indie 103.1 was that great in the first place. First of all, there was nothing "indie" about it. They were corporate sponsored just like any other major radio station and they used the term "indie" to attract a targeted demographic of listeners with its format. But it was pretty good if you compared it to it's disgusting contemporaries that still plays shit rock all day (*ahem* KROQ). Good music is good music whether it's corporate shilled rock or not.

The thing is, Indie 103.1 allowed an outlet for listeners who didn't want to listen to the "other" crap out there in the first place. It was one of the excuses I still had listening to music on the radio. Otherwise I would be listening to talk radio or NPR News on KCRW on my way wherever in my car.

Whoever decided to force Indie 103.1's format as a derivative of basically every other radio station out there only to shut it down shot themselves in the foot. They are isolating and excluding an entire audience and generation of kids to music. Ears are no longer exposed to other things out there by homogenizing broadcasts.

I'm just looking at this from a completely exploitative and capitalistic stand point.

This just reminds me how major labels paid record stores to lie about music sales to the Billboard Charts trying to force itself on the market to make others believe what's truly "selling" and "popular."

Look it up, it wasn't until SoundScan did "alternative" music allow itself mainstream success as record companies realized there was a market for music such as punk rock and such. They were foolish and too greedy to realize music might sell outside of up front promotion and mainstream broadcast play.

Fuck, maybe I'm completely wrong about this. Maybe they know something I don't know. Maybe most people simply fall for this bandwagon effect and they would've have just made more money turning Indie 103.1 another KROQ 2 or KISS FM 2.

The good news for the the station's true fans is that Indie 103.1 will live on as a internet radio broadcast.

However, this is no longer relevant. We have this beautiful thing called the internet itself. No one needs MTV and the radio anymore to find out about new music or who to idolize.

Everyone's their own DJ now. Major players do not have control anymore.

That's why I'm startled at how the music industry is eating itself alive by sheer desperation and short sightedness. It's as if the industry is performing seppuku with the opposite intention. They're killing themselves off for what made itself disgraceful in the first place.

Is it just me?

2009-01-12T14:47:00.000-08:00

Or does Guy Picciotto of Fugazi and Rights of Spring fame looks just like Jaz Coleman, the dude from Killing Joke???

I grew up in the shittiest years of punk rock and heavy metal

2008-12-31T04:01:00.000-08:00

I'd have to say the years between 2000-2006 was the shittiest years of punk rock and heavy metal. Taking shots at all those rap/nu-metal bands is way too easy. I want to state the "alternatives" of that time were no better if not even worse than what dominated the mainstream.

Don't believe me?

Without further ado,
Exhibit A: The Blood Brothers

Fuck, I was a total record nerd/bookworm/geek in highschool and witnessing this band kinda made me want to punch 'em in the face, hand out wedgies, stuff them in lockers, and then proceed to jack their lunch money out of spite.

But hey the girls fucking LOVED this band. Don't ask me why sounding like a whiny bitch gets you laid, but it did. And it STILL does.

Exhibit B: AFI

It was truly a sad day when this became the #1 band in America. It is said AFI stood for "A Fire Inside." I always replaced the word "fire" for "fag" in that general context.

I also adore all those AFI fans who fucking loved this band until they "sold out" and before "everyone" got into 'em." What a loss. Oh wait, I always thought they kinda sucked from the start.

Exhibit C: The Locust

Okay. Guilty as charged. I was a Locust fan. But hey, they played stupid music with a real stupid visual gimmick that was interesting.

You gotta give me a break, I was fifteen and listened to anything that went over 220 BPMs and then well the entire love affair with grindcore lasted as long as the average grindcore song.

But of course, everyone knows Anal Cunt is the greatest grindcore band of all time. They truly use song titles as a form of artistic craft. C'mon dude, haven't you heard "Tim is Gay"?

I can hardly imagine Lennon and McCartny writing better finger snapping material than this:

Exhibit D: The Dillinger Escape Plan

I don't think I will ever have the balls to go up to their lead singer and tell them how much his band fucking blows. Simply for the fact that dude can crush my head like a grape flexing his biceps. But I will always have the satisfaction in knowing I still have bigger balls than that steroid pumping mongoloid fuck.

Yeah okay so their cover of "Come to Daddy" was pretty badass but what the fuck is all this "they are so complex" bullshit all about? How can you fucking tell how many notes these fags can play? All I hear is blast beats, screeching, and shittiness. Next.

Exhibit E: Against ME!

Hey baby, I'm an anarchist too. Especially since all my music is put out by corporate labels and my videos are plastered all over MTV. Not that I have any qualms about bands "making it" just that they make half-ass music creating this bullshit facade about being purveyors of anti-establishment gayness. Fuck you and all you stand for you fucking fuck fuck. Yes you bet, I've got something personal against you.

Exhibit F: The Casualties

Yo, the Exploited called and they want their shtick back.

Exhibit G:

I have to honestly admit, their music videos were totally gnarly and somewhat funny in a fucked up way. But this shit made me happy to say I wasn't a metal head in highschool.

Exhibit H: Street Trash and Rock Goggle Fantasy

These were the greatest thrash/hardcore bands to ever exist in my lifetime and they went absolutely nowhere.

There you go: The Shittiest Years of Punk Rock and Heavy Metal

My thoughts on the Israeli/Palestine Conflict

2008-12-29T18:02:00.001-08:00

I guess I'm pro-Israeli because Jews are way more funny.

The Plot to Blow Up the Eiffel Tower

2008-12-26T12:07:00.000-08:00

I liked them better when they were called Nation of fucking Ulysses.

Dreadlocks in the metal scene...

2008-12-24T10:53:00.000-08:00

I never fucking got that.

1993's Other Greatest Film

2008-12-17T00:28:00.001-08:00

Seriously. Cutest thing. Ever.

2008-12-15T19:38:00.000-08:00

I haven't even considered eating this thing since it's so God damn cute.

Refused Are Fucking Dead = Piece of Fucking Shit

2008-12-07T15:31:00.000-08:00

Watching a self inflated documentary about Sweden's second greatest band (ABBA being the first) was pretty lame. Thank God someone uploaded the entire thing on YouTube so I could watch it for free and then shit on it.

Yeah, Refused were a great band and all but that doesn't mean they were the end all be all of anything. Seriously, these guys make themselves look like they were the only worthwhile band to come out in the last two decades and "the whole world" was against them.

First off, they were from fucking SWEDEN and there were great bands coming out of there doing different things sounding nothing like that band.

Seriously, how drastic was their situation when the first time I ever fucking heard about the Refused was watching their music video on MTV's 120 Minutes when I just got pubes?

The only cultural significance that band had besides creating great music was inspiring all these metal-core bands to dress like post-punk art school kids.

Let me tell ya, that's nothing to be proud about. All the Refused really did was impart a better fashion sense to the shittiest bands of my life time. Thanks guys. That's like inspiring Scientologists to dress like Hare Krishnas. Actual come to think of it, performing the latter would be something I would be proud about.

In light of OJ Simpson's conviction...

2008-12-06T17:05:00.000-08:00

Here's some old school MADtv for ya:

Motherfucker getting JFKed

2008-12-04T03:15:00.001-08:00

1993's Greatest Film

2008-11-30T15:13:00.001-08:00

If there ever was a purpose for man to be on this earth...

2008-11-28T14:25:00.001-08:00

Best Belgium band. Ever.

2008-11-25T03:01:00.000-08:00

If I had only one wish...

2008-11-20T16:03:00.000-08:00

Check out this orchestra covering Slayer...

2008-11-16T21:17:00.000-08:00

Dear Ladies,

2008-11-13T00:03:00.001-08:00

I know I've become your friend and all, but there's never a fucking time when you can become comfortable around me enough to pass gas in front of me and tell me that you are on your period.

IT AIN'T RIGHT!

You see, I still have the pussy on this pedestal next to my record collection, and I would like to continue to live in this fantasy land where women never make noises out of their bottom ends and shit flowers all day. And the only thing that comes out of that vadge is honey juice.

I simply ask that you pretend you're trying to impress me while talking about your boyfriend problems.

Semper Fidelis,
Me

First heavy metal song. Ever.

2008-11-11T18:24:00.001-08:00

9 year-old talks about taking LSD

2008-11-09T13:04:00.000-08:00

This might seem shocking except when you consider half my friends as children growing up were prescribed ritalin and adderall which were speed pills even after the fact... I never got medication unfortunately since I was Korean. My parents just smacked me around when I started to act up.